Halos And Rainbows

Did you ever wonder how you got to today, how the decisions you made or failed to make affected your life?

Can you remember being a teenager, planning how it was going to be in the big wide world? Did it work out that way; hmmm bet not many of us can say it truly did.

When you’re 14; 16 seems a long way off, 18 far further, 20’s a misty image and after that, well you’re never going to be that old.

Can you remember that saying “here’s 50p - go buy a life!” well there’s a problem right there, where was the money back guarantee if it all went wrong? What if you didn’t like the life you bought? Could you get a replacement? What if like me, you never got 50p?

This was my plan I’d meet Mr Perfect get married at 19, have a beautiful home, preferably with an old fashioned farmyard and 2 cars, a successful career doing something really cool but what? By the time I was 23 I’d have 2 kids and after that holidays, family and fun, fun, fun.

I had a job and almost got married when I was 21 until I thought, “rest of eternity?” and “how long?” and “till death do you part” - did I really have to consider killing him to get a moment to myself? “Run away, Run away!”

I got my own home instead and I was having so much fun.

Then I met Shrek, he came to dance and I assumed he wanted my friend, he wasn’t my type, I’d never met anyone tall, dark, handsome and well dressed.   At this point I was 7 months pregnant, wearing a denim tent to my ankles, long blond hair in ponytails, a La-la Teletubbie backpack and yet he still wanted to hold my hand on an August seafront but when baby arrived I felt sure he’d be a trail of dust. Even shopping for maternity bras and a breast pump was hilarious and he survived amazingly well. 

World’s Most Tolerant Man Award please!

Goat was almost born in an ambulance; I was soon on the ward with my baby boy. Tiny, almost bald, looking quite a bit like Yoda, only more yellowish and incredibly sweet. Shrek called  my mobile which I’d naughtily left on trying say that I couldn’t make dinner. He did the hours drive straight away looking very pale and worried. He held Goat and it was lovely to see them together, one for the memory jar. He’d planned a meal in town anyway and couldn’t I have waited as he‘d been looking forward to it and he was starving. 

I told him an Ambulance with it’s sirens on is too much fun to miss.

He came to see us every night until I was allowed home when Goats’s medication was finished. The Nurse told me to “leave now or you’ll be here another night,” as Goats' sugar was still a little low. I was gone in seconds, Mum, the baby car seat and I rushing for the exit, Dad fixing it into the back of his car.

Goat started nursery when he was 2; they mentioned things he couldn’t do. I never thought about it, he’d be with mum and dad when I was at work and seemed ok, what’s he meant to be doing, he’s still a baby?

Paediatricians referrals started, “so many little problems,” they said.

“He’s just doing things in his own time; he’s alright just got his own little world.” No-one else felt like that and by the time Goat started school he was Autistic with ADHD, an IEP (Individual Educational Plan) and a speech therapist. “But he’s Ok, it’ll be different in school, you’ll see.”

Goat got stronger glasses, couldn’t change for PE unaided, and needed lots of reminders for everything. He had accidents and came home with wet clothes in bags.  The next class teacher said it was a parental control issue and Goat was miserable. The paediatrician gave him medication but the teacher insisted there was “no difference, if anything he’s worse,” so I stopped it. Goat was having headaches, upset tummies, chewing his clothes and grinding his teeth. At Christmas there was a new teacher and things improved, the speech therapist was happy; his speech can be stilted but he no longer needs her.

When Goat was 3 my mum died and I gave up work to look after him.

When Goat was 4 a few months later Bear was born by emergency C-Section just in time for Christmas.  Goat informed us that he looked like a pumpkin-head, which was at least entertaining.  When he was tiny he had to have kidney scans because they were concerned about his hyperspadious but that seems to be ok so far.  He's had pheumonia twice as no-one believed me he was really ill until we took him to hospital, where they couldn't believe no-one refered him and put him straight on oxygen.  For a while after this he needed inhalers but hopefully this stage is over.

This last year Goat has learned to read, write, do some of his numbers and can count in 2’s and 10’s.  He finally has a diagnosis - Autism, ADHD, and Dyspraxia and Night-time Enuresis. School are pleased with his progress. The MRI scan for his headaches came back normal so we now have to see what happens next.  There are a lot of meetings at school at the moment due to the extra independance needed for juniors and trying to find the best and most relevant help.  Finally at 8 and a half School have now admitted that he is not progressing and Goat is awaiting a Statutory Assessment to see if they can get him some extra help.

You can follow Goats school weeks in Good Little Goat on the Sunshine House Blogs.  When the Bear starts school his best bits will be blogged too so that's something to look forwards to.

Bear is getting on well at Playschool and is looking forwards to going to Big Boys School with Goat in September. 

Well that’s my Rainbow Road; it’s had its highs and lows , so far it's been a bit like a gyroscope on a catastrophe curve.

I would love for you to share your Rainbow Road with the group too!

Who know what tomorrow will bring? Maybe we can find some answers together. Let’s have some fun, support and try to see the lighter side of our Little Angels today!

love and huggles

Pinks