General Ticktack's Ideas
General Ticktack is a Gnome who always wears green, in fact Scary Fairy thinks that he'd like all of us to do just as he says like the Army he imagines. However, for all his bossiness General Ticktack has some very good ideas, and if one doesn't work he can usually think up another or remember one he tried a long time ago; Some of them work forever, some of them work for a while and some of them well, they don't work at all but he always says "It's worth a try" and you know I think he may be right!
Have fun with his Gnomic wisdom and training ideas!
Love and huggles
Magic
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Rather Rascally Rewards
I can be good!
There are so many reward systems that if one doesn’t work there are a million other ways to use a reward as a behavioural tool.
Reward charts work well with older kids or the ones that can understand. Always tailor them to something that interests your child and make them easily achievable to start with. Sometimes waiting a whole week for the treat is far too long; I never go for more than a day, although a bigger treat can be earned for a full week.
I like to give a sticker; large plastic caught being good or kind coin, or something little like a home made token for being good. Five of these can be traded in for a small prize, the small prize and 5 more can be traded for something a bit better, or work your way up to 10.
Ping, pong balls or marbles in an old sweet jar is a good way to keep track. Anything as long as they can touch or see how good they’ve been.
Make a road and move the cars along to the garage.
Make a wind charm and hang the fairies on it.
Make a mountain and move the climber up.
Make a stable and get the horses in or out.
Let them help you make the chart and they’ll be more interested in gaining a reward they’ve helped think up and design. Always agree what the reward can be and how much effort needs to be made to get it.
I start at a 15 minute sticker for being good, if we don’t make 15 minutes, we don’t get a sticker etc at the end and have to try for the next 15 minutes, this helps with telling the time too, gradually move the timing further apart, 30 minutes, 45 minutes and finally an hour. Do not start again from the time you’ve failed or you have too many times to remember if you have more than one child and it gets complicated, with little people thinking they missed out twice if their timing is later.
Weekly charts for things like putting shoes away or not wetting the bed are fine if there is a chance of achieving a whole week, loosing a weeks worth or reward for one mishap doesn’t work, you need to have a different reward for however many days or nights are achieved. Small reward for one night, large for all week. No not allow the reward chart to become a punishment.
Ouch - Sharp Tooth!
Oh no they’re falling out again and someone has been bitten, but what do you try ths time?
There are ways to sort it out and some kids have a phase of using their teeth too much. It can be frustration at not being understood or knowing how to explain their needs and feelings . But it still hurts even if you know the reason!
Sometimes constantly changing your approach is the quickest way to ruin the extra attention fun.
I have to say that biting back is not really a way to stop it or calm a situation, imagine accidentally teach them that it is ok as mommy does it when she’s cross too!
Why did Little Tooth bite? When you work this out it can make stopping it easier.
Are they teething? If so would a teething ring or a cool drink help?
Is he frustrated? Not knowing how to express feelings is confusing; talking about it calmly and quietly can help.
Was Little Tooth feeling threatened or defending himself? Remind him that he can come to a grown-up for help.
Of course that won’t work on someone with a couple of teeth who loves to give you little love-bites when you kiss. Pull away and say “Owww” firmly removing the little nipper saying “no biting,” and put them down on the floor. Tell her "bitey kisses hurt". Repeat this every time it and little gnashers will just nibble food.
Do not get involved in any kind of biting game.
It can be handy to leave a cool teething ring in the fridge, this can be given the next time you pick them up so they do not have enough spare teeth to bite. Some kids seem to need something in their mouth, so this can stop a phase of love-bites more easily.
Toddlers will sometimes bite if feeling insecure, with strangers or in new places. Pick them up and cuddle to remind them they’re safe, until she’s used to them let her stay near you, stay and play for a few minutes before going to make a drink etc. Hopefullt the strangeness will wear off and no biting happens.
After that a bite can be treated with a stern “no biting” and moving manglers away. Leave him to think about it while you love the bitee better, if it was due to attention seeking, this stops her being centre of attention, and also if it’s becoming a nasty habit don’t talk about it in her presence.
An older child can be reasoned with, depending on their age and abilities. Explain that it hurts; ask now it would make them feel, try to find out why it happened. Talk about why biting is not good, give them an apple to bite and look at the marks together. You can suggest biting fruit rather than a playmate when they feel angry or frustrated. This can introduce them to new fruits and a healthy diet. It also gives them chance to calm down and think about their feelings and how to deal with things.
If you don’t want to get through a tun of fruit a week, some clay on a board that they can thump and squish about until the anger goes can help. Remind her to put it away afterwards to keep it for its special use and avoid mess.
Going outside with a ball weather allowing also works well, as can learning to walk away. I find the swing ball is an excellent way to take out a bit of frustration. Pleae be award of your windows!
My mum would offer to have all your teeth taken out so you can only eat “swoop and ishe-cweam” (soup and ice-cream) which all kids accept as a ridiculous punishment and seems to hit the spot, but not politically correct in a lot of professional eyes now.
Woops breaks, down times, talking for ten can all be good ways of working out most problems.
Always try to judge the childs abilities and level of understanding, sometimes the less said is better and remember to listen to any reasons given so you can help sort any problems with as little fuss as possible.
Matilda Moo
Magically Motivates
Your Poppet can choose from many designs, although the ones with the animal noises seem more effective. We chose a cute cow, she appealed to my humour.
I set the alarm for a few minutes and tell Poppet what he has to do before Matilda Moos, sometimes Matilda Mischievously Moos (time is really up, but he does his task 2nd time, far better than the 20th). If Poppet beats Matilda he gets to switch her off, just beating her is its own reward. There’s always another chance to beat her.
Matilda helps Poppet get changed, help tidy his room, get ready for tea, get bathed, get ready for bed, have a story and meet a bedtime.
Matildas Morning Magic: - getting ready for school used to take us 3 hours. Matilda helped Poppet eat breakfast, clean teeth, shower, get dressed, coat and shoes - all by himself from the first morning, I used to do it all. Matilda Magically Made More Manageable Minutes and we are now ready in under an hour.
Ok so the magic might not last but I felt like a new woman and Poppet is already changed and calmer. Depending on your little ones abilities this worked really well for us and is worth a try - at least until the novelty wears off.
This is the deal; instead of fighting one another you are both fighting to beat that clock! Suddenly you are a team, help if you need to but the rule is that you are both on the same side. As Poppet gets better at doing things at a reasonable pace you can help less. Bong quickly learned how to do lots of things that he would usually expect me to do just because he had to beat that Matilda Moo.
Only use this for positive reinforcement - anything negative will ruin things. I can now say shall I fetch Matilda Moo if he’s dawdling and instantly there is a whole lot more effort. I don’t use her as a threat but we now do not need the clock. This means that she can have time off until the novelty is worn off, the use is forgotten and if necessary she has to be brought out for new skills.
Charlie Chuckles Clucks
As with Matilda Moo this is another timing adventure! Once Matilda is Marvellously Managing Minutes your Cling-on can be given some responsibility for chores. Always use in a positive way!
Charlie Chuckles Chicken is an egg timer with yep animal noises; we got ours from the garden centre.
Cling-on and Charlie Chuckles set a time, about 5 minutes and agree to Complete Charlie’s Chaos Chores in the time.
This gives your Cling-on Clock Control and teaches how long time can be, also number recognition.
We started this a few weeks after Matilda Moo and use it for Chaos Chores like tidying toys, getting changed.
The chore is checked as completed and a choice of stickers towards a bigger prize is given.
Easy peasy lemon squeezy, what a lovely way to learn independence and self reliance!
Mind My Ornaments!
Ok, we all have ornaments; some we like, others we were given by thoughtful people. How do we keep little fingers off them?
I have shelves high up above my hallway doors for our best things, this works really well as long as I have a stepladder easily available for dusting.
The ones I don’t like go around the home in places where fiddling fingers can be warned off regularly, this teaches them the hurt reaction of “oh no my vase!” after a breakage without it actually really mattering.
I find that candles on pot saucers are fairly indestructible, and give a good opportunity to remind that candles are “hot, hot, hot,” “ouch,” or “burny”. Also if they do get broken are easy to replace and pretty lighting for watching TV once the little darlings are tucked into bed asleep and you have “me-time”.
Micky Manners
Micky Manners is a Magical Munchmot (bit like a meercat)in a mini with Marvellous Manners, he likes to help us sound magnificent!
Good manners are important and so easy to use. These are Micky’s basics and easily popped into your day without much effort.
Always say please and thank you and poppet will learn. Start thank you with “tar” as soon as possible as it’s easier for little mouths. Just say it as you hand anything over and when poppet grows a little, take it back unless you get a tar when prompted. “Please may I?” always sounds lovely.
Excuse me - super simple remember to say it and in shops etc remind them to say it to pass someone.
Pardon - do not allow “what?” Or “eh?” Always correct this and remember to use yours correctly too. “I’m sorry could you repeat that?” if for bigger people after all.
Pardon me - if they pass wind sound surprised and say pardon you, it’s ok to giggle about it but always say it, there will be giggles later on so don’t outlaw them.
Holding Doors for grown ups - a lot of grown-ups don’t do this but I think it should happen. Pushchair People often need a hand with heavy doors and struggle. Once they’re big enough prompt them to hold the door for the lady etc, they will usually get a surprised “thank-you”. Make sure if you are last into the door to check for someone behind you and if necessary hold the door, your little people will pick this up and accept it as natural.
Elbows off the table - go on we all remember having that screamed at us. Remind your little angels to eat with spoon, fork and eventually knife and to sit nicely at the table, this stops people staring when you eat out. There is a whole host of acceptable table behaviours but the basics are easy enough.
Remember manners should happen without much effort if you use yours as these behaviours will be copied without thinking.
Micky Manners Says “My magical manners make me marvellous!”